Its funny how the circle of friends changes over the years, and which circle that you decide is the “The gang”. I can think of so many circles. The gang of five or so guys in 5-8 grade in our small town of Westmoreland. Our class/grade had 22 kids, and we were the dudes. At Keene High School, there was the football team, as a crew, and an overlap of guys from football and soccer that all hung out. In college at KSC, we also had a circle, but as the years went past, as a group, most of the guys started a fraternity, and I chose to go off with various girlfriends and off campus people. The frat guys were nice, but just that…Frat guys. Guess I was more of a hippie/granola/ Deadhead and didn’t fit in. My hair was much too long and beard much too bushy for these guys (ha ha)
After the college years, I came to the place where I truly got close with people. One of my best friends, incidentally from the 5-8th grade crew, Sam, introduced me to house full of people he lived with. Sam & I took a cross country road trip to LA, where he stayed, and I moved into his old pad on my return.
That’s where “The Tribe” started. There were 3-5 of us living and paying rent and any number of people crashing at our place on a regular basis. Molly owned the place and lived downstairs with her boyfriend Peter (until he moved on a couple years later. Chris & I each had a room upstairs. Kevin, Rob, Peter, Gunner, Dan, Wendell, Chad, John, Diane, Elizabeth, Emily, Jacqui, “Yuk-Truk”, Zoe & Bill were regulars. Eventually, Tracy came into the picture, and after a short stay with Molly downstairs, moved upstairs with me. (We stayed together, and got married and now have 2 kids).
We all had so many adventures; concerts, bonfires, road trips to Boston, mind trips to who knows where; quite a few aided by beer, tequila, red wine, pot, mushrooms & acid. There were a few naked parties, a number of changes in who was with who over the years, and a little drama. I spent some of the time on the road, surveying portions of the Appalachian Trail, and Thursday night through Monday morning at “the house, with a lot of cash and free time :). We were all closer than family and knew each other soo well.
Today, as I said, Tracy & I are married and together in Westmoreland with our two kids. Chris is married and lives in Keene and has two twin boys. We see each other less and less as the years go by, although we spent an awesome spring coaching our sons’ baseball team, together. Kevin is out near Aspen, Colorado, single, and still living the high life; Sam is still in living near LA with his awesome wife Jen and 3 niños. They are so much like us, they are wavering about moving back this way and we always push them toward that decision. It would be a blast to live close. Craig…a latecomer, is up in Alaska, and Bill is in NY somewhere. Molly, my once soul-sister, has seemed to drop off the planet. Diane, Chris’s sister and once my girlfriend, lives in Boston.
I keep in touch with Chris, Kevin and Sam regularly through the Phone or E-mail, but not really anyone else.
In later years, we had the CHA gang and now the SVE gang, work friends, some of whom are great and are real close. I keep in touch with Joe, and still work with John P & Robin. She & I are best of friends and have been the “JP & Liliana” of CHA and now SVE survey for about 15 years.
Lately I’ve been putting forward to meet more people and make new friends. Of course, the kid’s school and sports teams are a great means for that. The kids go to Monadnock Waldorf, and I’ve met some fantastic people there…people who are kind of crunchy, involved in stuff, have similar interest, and even have a lot of language background, there are so many who speak Spanish. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve kind of been more of an introvert, so I’m pushing myself to get to know people.
Speaking of getting older, in the last year or so, I’ve also started checking of the list of stuff I always wanted to do, but never did. You gotta start if you want to do it. (More on this some other time) One of the things was to learn Spanish, so last spring, I bought a few books on grammar and a good dictionary and tried some on-line stuff with varied success. I read an article that mentioned an internet podcast site called SpanishPod and joined. What a difference…life changing for me! I’ve really learned so much and it’s now an enjoyable hobby, something I do like gardening or playing guitar. And as a side benefit (back to the friends theme), I’ve begun to make some really good friends. Albeit online only, but friends never the less; people I’m interested in, who seem interested in me, and whose well-being I care for. I correspond with Lily & Esti, and only in Spanish, so I get two benefits; being friends with wonderful, attractive, interesting women, and a serious motivation to keep learning Spanish. Leo & ‘Pito have corresponded with me, in English and Spanish, even outside of the SP medium, and are real cool guys that I’d chill with anytime!
I was trying to think what constitutes “a friend” for me. I realize that I like almost everyone and anyone I meet; I’m pretty easygoing that way. Are people that you see each day and hang with or talk with your “friends”? Not necessarily. I see some people everyday, whom I like, and enjoy talking with, but probably wouldn’t put them on the list of true friends. I never see Sam and only talk a few times a year, maybe visit once a year, and yet we are the same best friends from all the way back to 5th grade.
I think for me, it all comes down to DINNING. Who would I choose to share a meal with and chat with, especially who would I chose to prepare a dinner for. Cooking is one of my greatest loves and to prepare a meal is a gift I give (maybe not one you’d like to receive (ha ha), but given with love nevertheless). When I think who would I invite to dinner and to spend an afternoon of evening at my house, that is who I count as a real friend. Perhaps it wouldn't be likely they could attend, like my friends in Shanghai, California, Colorado, amongst other places (who know the invitation is open). I think for me…that is the test.
No comments:
Post a Comment